THE VIRGIN MARY'S GOT NITS: A CHRISTMAS ANTHOLOGY

By Gervase Phinn

Synopsis

A hilarious and touching anthology of poetry and prose on the subject of Christmas from the Yorkshire school inspector and bestselling author of the Dales series and Little Village School series.

Sample Player

Narrator	Bob Rollett
Length	3hrs 30mins
Catalogue No.	10279
Publisher	Hodder & Stoughton; 2014

Other audiobooks by Gervase Phinn

A CLASS ACT

Change is afoot in the usually sleepy village of Risingdale. Gerald Gaunt, headmaster of the primary school for over 30 years, is retiring. He hopes that his replacement will work with him to secure a bright, happy future for the school. But Mr Smart has his own ideas about how things should be run. The teachers have plenty of other dramas to contend with. Tom Dwyer is pining over Janette, his one-that-got-away. His colleague Joyce Tranter's new marital bliss is shattered by the arrival of her husband's scheming nephew. And elsewhere in the village, Sir Hedley's long-cherished plans for his future are jeopardised by his ex-wife's arrival. Can the residents of Risingdale pull together and achieve happiness against the odds?

HEAD OVER HEELS IN THE DALES

More reminiscences from the North Yorkshire Schools Inspector, who is now settling down to blissful married life with the radiant teacher from Winnery Nook School.

THE HEART OF THE DALES

Sequel to 'Up and Down in the Dales' (6843). The new school year gets off to a bad start when Gervase is called in to see his new boss and then given a ‘little job’ by the Chief Education Officer. As always this means liaising with the infuriating Mrs Savage. Life at home with Christine and their new baby son is blissful until they start to hear noises in the attic.

IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

In this collection of hilarious poetry you'll find embarrassing parents, nagging teachers, the class chatterbox and plenty of other characters you are sure to recognise.

A LESSON IN LOVE

Love is in the air in the little village of Barton-in-the-Dale. Anyone can see that Ashley Underwood and Emmet O'Malley are made for each other. But as the saying goes, the course of true love never did run smooth. Meanwhile, an angry young boy struggles to believe in love. But when tragedy strikes, he learns that comfort and care can come from the most unexpected of places. Book 4 of the series.

THE LITTLE VILLAGE SCHOOL

No one can understand why Elizabeth Devine, formerly head of a big inner city school, would want to come to a village school in rural Barton-in-the-Dale. She certainly faces many challenges, from a grumpy caretaker to a bitter former headteacher. First book of the series.

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DALE

When Gervase Phinn saw the advertisement for a Schools Inspector of English and Drama he decided to apply but when he met the other candidates his confidence nearly failed him. He was stunned to be appointed and here wittily describes his early days in the job.

OVER HILL AND DALE

Gervase Phinn continues his story as a schools inspector in the Yorkshire Dales. Many of the same characters appear again: his fellow inspectors, quirks and all, the local landowner-cum-school governor, the eccentric caretaker at the staff development centre and, of course, the lovely Christine from Winnery Nook School.

ROAD TO THE DALES: THE STORY OF A YORKSHIRE LAD

Gervase tells of a life full of happiness, conversation, music and books shared with his three siblings, mother and father. This book is a snapshot of growing up in Yorkshire in the 1950s - reminisce with Gervase, and share in his personal journey - of school days and holidays as well as his tentative steps into the adult world.

THE SCHOOL AT THE TOP OF THE DALE

Newly qualified teacher Tom Dwyer has been given his first post in Risingdale, a sleepy little village at the very top of the Yorkshire Dales. Unsure if he'll ever fit into this close-knit community, Tom joins a motley staff at the village school. With pupils who know more about sheep than they do arithmetic, Tom has his work cut out for him...

THE SCHOOL INSPECTOR CALLS!

As a new term begins at the little primary school in Barton-in-the-Dale, head teacher Elisabeth Devine has her work cut out for her. A disruptive new pupil arrives, set to cause trouble, and there's a big school production of The Wizard of Oz to organise, as well as an impending visit from the Minister of Education. Book 3 of the series.

SECRETS AT THE LITTLE VILLAGE SCHOOL

In the little village of Barton-in-the-Dale, long hidden secrets are bubbling to the surface. The town's resident nosey-parker discovers some juicy gossip about the primary school's dishy new staff member, and head teacher Elisabeth Stirling has a very special secret of her own. Book 5 of the series.

TALES OUT OF SCHOOL

After an eventful start to his first ever teaching post in the sleepy village of Risingdale, Tom Dwyer is hoping for a bit of calm. Nursing a broken heart after a romantic disappointment, he just wants to keep his head down and get on with his job. But it is not to be. A beautiful London artist sets tongues wagging when she moves into the village, and her precocious yet frail son is in Tom's class. On top of that, his colleague's malicious ex-husband is back and a tragedy on one of the winding country roads sends the village reeling. And all this alongside a class of children who still seem to know more about farming than fractions.

TROUBLE AT THE LITTLE VILLAGE SCHOOL

Elisabeth Devine rocked the boat when she took over as head teacher of the primary school in Barton-in-the-Dale. Now after winning over the wary locals, the school is to be merged with its rival, and Elisabeth has to fight for the new headship with Urebank's ruthless and calculating headmaster. Book 2 of the series.

UP AND DOWN IN THE DALES

Another humorous volume of exploits in the life of a schools Inspector in North Yorkshire. When he leaves work he goes home to the peace of his cottage and his wife who is expecting their first child. But things change when their local school is threatened with closure and he and his wife have differing views!